Wednesday, 3 December 2008

Freaky Stalker Update...

He's getting married (...and no, it's not to me!)


See initial post here

Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Come into the Light




My last post was actually a reflection on my mood at the time of posting.

Tuesday, 11 November 2008

A Fox Might Bite My Bottom


It's not really a laughing matter, especially given that i am studying towards becoming a Psychotherapist and now have and even greater appreciation of the effect of fears and anxieties on human beings as entities, but i came across this article and found Charlie, 5's entry particularly sweet and endearing.

What children really fear

Elsie, 3 “I get scared when someone says they don't want to be my friend and they don't want to play with me any more.”

Charlie, 5 “In the daytime foxes have gone to bed but when they come out at night, a fox could bite my bottom.”

Millie, 5 “I am a bit scared of carrots. I used to be scared of pear but now I know it is nice.”

Maddie, 6 “I always tuck the duvet under my legs when I go to sleep because I don't want snakes to eat my feet. When I was little the snakes got in and ate my feet.”

Jess, 6 “In the night, when everyone's asleep, I can hear footsteps going up the stairs and I feel scared. I think there's kind of a monster creeping up the stairs.”

Josh, 8 “It's scary to think of the pollution destroying all the rainforest so the animals haven't got anything to eat and then the plants will die and the human race will die.”

Nye, 9 “I don't like burglars. When there's a loud noise upstairs I always think that there's a burglar breaking in.”

Ira, 10 “I'm scared of hookworms and tapeworms. I hate the thought of having one in my body because they worm their way into you and live inside you.”

Tula, 11 “I worry about all the people in Africa dying and I feel I should be doing something about it. I also worry about my house setting on fire.”

Lemar, 12 “I want to drive a car when I'm older, so I worry about petrol prices and more people driving electric cars which are really dangerous and will cause road deaths because people won't hear them.”

Amy, 13 “It scares me thinking that one day I might get so old that I lose my sense of humour and no one wants to be friends with me because I'm no fun.”


See the link below for the rest of the article.

Childrens fears may be fuelled by parents - Times Online

Friday, 17 October 2008

Upheaval



Miriam Webster Dictionary Online:
up·heav·al
Pronunciation: \ˌəp-ˈhē-vəl, (ˌ)ə-ˈpē-\
Function: noun
Date: 1838
1: the action or an instance of upheaving especially of part of the earth's crust
2: extreme agitation or disorder : radical change ; also : an instance of this


I subscribe to radical change...but in a good way.

There's a lot going on right now.

This means i'm juggling several balls.

I can't afford to drop a single one.

I'm trying to figure out where each one goes
and how they all fit together.

I don't want to have to shuffle them around on the ground to get the balance right.

So until I figure out where they go, they're going to have to remain up there,
and i'm going to have to keep expending the energy required to juggle non-stop.

My arms ache, but i can't afford to stop.

When I figure out where they each go, then i'll stop.

And then they'll each drop one by one and fit nicely into their own little receptacle.

And then life will go on.

Tuesday, 7 October 2008

Lizz Wright: Fire


I need to update, so i've decided to do a Naapali.

This is my favourite Lizz Wright song of all time and that's saying a lot because there isn't a song of hers that i don't love. I love singing this song,but beyond that i love the message in the lyrics (which is about unconditional love) because it challenges me to question if i am capable of such love for another human being (and i'm talking romantic love now, not parental, for example). That is, the kind of love that gives and then says:



Don´t worry about me
I´ll stand here in the darkness
With the joy that HEAVEN promised
To those who live
With open hearts

(see below for the rest of the lyrics)

My honest answer is 'I'm not sure'. I do know for sure that i once was that kind of person, and hence i know that i have the capacity to do so. However, would i want to do so? That's what i'm not sure about. Wouldn't resentment creep in? I guess the crucial element in deciding would be if the same sort of love was being given in return. But doesnt that defeat the concept of 'unconditional love'?

Heraclitus, the Ephesian philosopher is best known for his assertion that everything is in a state of flux. One of his most famous quotes is:


You could not step twice into the same river; for other waters are ever flowing on to you.


None of us are the same person from second to second, not to talk of month to month, or year to year. Our experiences change. Our circumstances change, and so on. So, yeah. I once was that kind of person, i don't think i am now, but i can be that person again.

What thinkest thou, my lovely people?
Enjoy...




Are you frightened by the fire in my eyes
It burns for you
And I KNOW you see it too
Your heart was open looking for light
Are you surprised
BABY LEAVE your pride

´Cause I´m gonna burn, right or wrong
It´s all for you to see
Stop hiding your eyes
Take the fire from me
And be warm, life is hard
And sometimes the night is long
Take the fire
You don´t have to give it back to me

It´s a gift to feel this good
Loving you IS enough to bring me peace
Nothing’S perfect
But it´s enougH
To FILL with love
A HEART THAT WAS COLD WITH DUST

And it´s gonna burn, right or wrong
It´s all for you to see
Stop hiding your eyes
Take the fire from me
And be warm, life is hard
And sometimes the night is long
Take the fire
You don´t have to give it back to me

Don´t worry about me
I´ll stand here in the darkness
With the joy that HEAVEN promised
To those who live
With open hearts

And it´s gonna burn, right or wrong
It´s all for you to see
Stop hiding your eyes
Take the fire from me
And be warm, life is hard
And sometimes the night is long
Take the fire
You don´t have to give it back to me

Wednesday, 1 October 2008

Pieces of Me


If you are patient and tender
I will open drawers that mostly stay closed
and bring out places and people and things, sounds and smells, love and frustrations, hopes and sadness.
Bits and pieces of life that have been grabbed off in chunks and found lying in my hands
they have eaten their way into my heart altogether
you or I will never see them.

-They are me-

If you regard them lightly, deny that they are important, or worse judge them
I will quietly slowly begin to wrap them up in small pieces of velvet
like worn silver and gold jewelry
tuck them away in a small wooden chest of drawers
and close them away.

(Jim Messina)

This is a partial repost which initially appeared here, but just so happens to reflect my mood today...

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Tropic Thunder


Ok. Let's face it. Tropic Thunder is probably one of the dumbest movies you will ever see this year. It has to be said, however, that it is also one of the most hilarious. I saw it last night and i had tears constantly rolling down my cheeks, i had to give up wiping them away!

Robert Downey Jr was excellent, but the cameo by Tom Cruise as the Hollywood studio boss alone was worth the price of the ticket.

If you haven't seen it yet, please go and see it ASAP. Meanwhile, here's a clip of TC as you've never seen him before. Pity i couldnt find a longer clip, but this is more than enough...

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Monday, 15 September 2008

Makes you proud

Thirty-one year old Nigerian Accountant, Adebola Adedoyin representing the motherland on the X Factor

Saturday, 30 August 2008

Of Trees and Forests

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?


Tuesday, 26 August 2008

The Lives of Others (or...I am not my hoodie)

I began this post a couple of months ago but it didn't feel quite ready at the time. It does now.


I have a very short commute in to work now. Now that spring’s here (in a way), I’ve started walking in again. It usually takes me about 30-40mins, but this is probably because I walk freakishly fast for a woman (I’ve been told). Continuing the theme of Xena Warrior Princess you forced me to introduce in to my last post (y’all knows y’all selves) you should see me walking with other people – male and female. They are practically always panting for breath as I power on without breaking a sweat! Things to do, places to be, you know?

I was running slightly late this morning so I hopped on the bus as I sometimes do. I settled in to my seat on the top deck and didn’t feel like reading. There’s no point really as, based on past experience, just as I am getting settled into that ‘zone’, all too quickly the ride is over and I have to get off. Instead, I settled down for some guilt free, pleasant spacing out. The top deck of the bus was virtually empty, but at the next stop, a few more passengers got on. A young boy, about 17-18 if I was to hazard a guess, climbs up the stairs and sits about 2 rows in front of me. As he settles down and the bus moves off again, my nostrils are suddenly assaulted by the smell of his ‘cologne’. It’s cheap. And as lads that age are wont to do, he has been rather heavy handed with it. So much so that I can now taste the fumes at the back of my throat. I make a mental note of this, resisting the urge to gag. His phone rings.

‘Hi, Mum’, he says in his white-boy-trying-to-speak-black accent (as made popular by Ali G). ‘I’m on the bus now and I forgot the earrings, mum. Sorry’.
His mum speaks on the other end.
Boy – I was on the phone to the Probation and I forgot to take them
Mum speaks
Boy – Are you sure? Is that ok? I’m sorry.

He says sorry a few more times, and then hangs up and I’m strangely touched by the sweetness of the exchange even though I’ve only heard one side. A number of things strike me:

1. He’s wearing a hoodie.
2. He has some bling in one ear.
3. He’s clearly been in trouble (hence the telephone conversation with the ‘Probation’ alluded to)
4. He possibly has identity issues as demonstrated by the Ali G-esque accent and the fact that he ends a second phone conversation with the word ‘Safe’.
5. He loves his mother.

Suddenly, i'm curious to know his 'story'. Who is he? What has he done? What's his Mum like? Where is he off to? And a myriad of other questions.

I ponder further and it strikes me how disconnected we've all become from each other...Were we actually ever connected to each other? Who is 'we'?

I have a 'big heart' (that's just a stone cold fact, nothing else), and therefore have a strong and compelling need to connect with others on a level beyond the superficial. In my late teens/early twenties, i came to learn the hard way, that 'big-heartedness' is seen as a sign of weakness and it's human nature to attempt to exploit perceived weakness. And so i swung to the other end of the spectrum, and became 'well 'ard' as they say here in the UK. But i could never really deny who i am.

Repeat a pattern of behaviour long enough and it soon becomes a habit. Habits are notoriously difficult to break. These days, i'm learning to not be so hard. If i'm to be honest, it wasn't really a case of becoming hard, as it was a case of choosing to smother feelings of empathy or compassion by refusing to act on them. I realise now that my temperament/personality/character is crucial to fulfilling my purpose here on earth (and i do believe we are all born with a God-ordained purpose), and so i've learnt to love myself and free myself from the chains that come with comparing myself to others or wanting to be like others in anyway. I'm exactly who and what i need to be. Nothing more, nothing less.

I have this bad habit of staring at people. I do stare at people. Not because i have no manners, but because i have this need to look beneath the surface. Always. Don't get me wrong, i don't go around staring at random people. There is a method to my 'staring', i suppose. Being very intuitive and able to pick up on subtle nuances and signs that people give off, when i pick on on something, i need to explore it further and in the process of turning my focus inwards, i may forget that i'm actually still looking at the person as well as looking into them, in a manner of speaking. Yes, i do realise i'm probably painting myself out as some kind of weirdo, but anyway...

Fast forward to the present day though, i often ask myself what i'm meant to do when out of the blue i experience such rushes of empathy towards a totally random youth in a hoodie on the top deck of the Number 30 bus? And the answer just came to me right now - as much as i would love to go up to them, place a hand on their shoulders, look them deeply in the eyes and say something like ' i feel your pain' or 'would you like to talk about it' or something else along those lines...all i can do is pray.

And so tonight, Lord i pray for the youth on the bus, in a hoodie, with a earring, wearing cheap cologne. Be with him and his Mum. Help him get his life back on the straight and narrow. Watch over him and keep him . In Jesus' name. Amen

Thursday, 21 August 2008

Update (...of sorts)



No you didn't type in the URL for Afrobabe's blog and land here by mistake (haha!)

I've got to apologise for the haphazardness of my blogging. I have been extremely busy (i never used to understood the concept of being too busy to blog, but now i do!), and set to become even busier as i begin the course i alluded to in the post, The Impostor Syndrome. I had a look at the course syllabus the other day, and i must confess, i was practically salivating and wiping away copious amounts of drool. I sooooooooooooooooooooo cannot wait to start next month!

Also, the beast that is my laptop has resumed its downwards spiral towards the scrapheap! I, therefore, can only blog surreptiously from work these days. Buying a new one is not even an option right now, what with tuition fees to pay, and recent acquisition of my Nikon D40 Digital SLR camera (..at this point, you need to picture me rubbbing my hands together with Smeagol/Gollum-like maniacal glee and crooning the words 'Myyyy PRECIOUSSSS'), and a Nintendo Wii Fit (which i will be returning actually, cos i didn't realise i needed to get a console too!). And just in case you were wondering, no, i am not 'blonde'. Think about it...If i was, i would not heretofore (heyyyy. big word!) have been salivating at the prospect of being schooled in the theories of such luminaries as Freud, Jung, Klein, Rogers et al. I rest my case!

Add to the above the fact that there is just so, so much going on in my head at the moment. My head actually feels full. I don't know if anyone understands that. One of the foremost emotions i'm experiencing is impatience. Patience has definitely never been one of my strong suits. It's doubly hard now, because things i'd previously never even dared to dream about are now within my grasp. I just want it all, like, yesterday! I will reign myself in, and i will slow down. It just won't be easy. However,

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

Peace, y'all...

Wednesday, 13 August 2008

Should I Stay or Should I Go...


...to lunch?
Lunch ko, brunch ni!


Hi y'all

Since you all enjoyed the first post so much (you know yourselves), i thought i'd give you the next instalment.


August 13th 12:36

Covenant greeting in Jesus

pls can we lunch together

after service on sunday

let me know if you

accept Jesus bless you
I guess i really shouldn't be publishing the poor guys texts on the internet like this for your amusement. However, you have to wonder at the kind of thought process that goes into sending them. I mean, over a period of over four years, i have consistently turned down his 'advances' and he still comes back with an invitation to lunch?!
May i also add that he subjected a friend of mine, whom he also met at the same time (see my response to comments in previous post) to this same treatment. As in, he started on me and i turned him down quite forcibly before it finally got through to his brain (or so i thought). He then started on my friend on and off over the years. She was actually the first to be subjected to the whole 'proposal by text' thingy. She would often lament to me, and though i sympathised, i couldn't help but be amused and poke fun at her...That was until he started on me.
Yeah, so blogging about it is the way i retain my sanity. Please. Enjoy

Monday, 4 August 2008

He loves me, He loves me not. He loves me, he loves me....


....NOT! Euuwww!!!

30th May 2008 0:03
Greeting in Jesus name
undacovasista please I need you to
be my wife it is time to get marry to you

10th June 2008 22:56
Undacovasista I love you with all my
heart and i want you to be
my wife I intend to come to (insert church name) before
the month run end and I will
invite for a date in Jesus
name by (insert name)

11th June 2008 23:28
Thinking of you with all my
love (insert name)

6th July 2008 20:55
Undacovasista please I love you and
I cant afford to marry any
body except you in
Jesus name pls i want to talk
to you it is very urgent

6th July 2008 20:58
I love you and I need you
now before it is too late in
Jesus name

8th July 2008 9:30
You cut off your phone
yesterday that is uncall for
very ride clus e ofyou to
have done that to me

8th Jul 2008 12:30
Undacovasista I want you to be my
fiancee from now on in Jesus
nam take it or leave it

10th July 2008 1:06
I love you by (insert name)

Thursday, 10 July 2008

Further Hieroglyphics...


...that means more Egyptian characters (feel free to insert Dr Evil laugh here. What? I'm sure Shubby Doo got the joke...lol!).

Well, here goes...

Allow me to introduce you to Liver Man aka Cleaver Man, aka Mahmoud, the Chef.

Each night we had a buffet type meal (hence the purification ritual mentioned in my previous post :)), but in addition to this there would be some kind of 'added bonus' e.g. stir fried vegetables while you waited, or craved lamp (refer to previous post) or pasta sauce whipped up fresh. Anyway, Mahmoud was always in charge of this.

He was actually quite sweet. Very shy, but he pee'd me off slightly very early in the trip when he asked me who TB was i.e. 'friend', sister. I asked why he wanted to know, and he replied with a shrug 'two girls....', and left all the insinuations lingering in the air. I hissed and moved on. Excuse me, do i look like a lesbian? You may think it a bit forward for a chef to be asking personal questions, but in Egypt it isn't apparently! All the Waiters etc were very friendly and flirtatious with the women. By the end of the trip Eddie, our waiter was professing undying love for TB, and freely referring to Diane as 'baby' right under her husband's nose!


Ok, so Liver Man got his name like this - On one of the days, the 'extra' was liver. I can't remember what was being done to the liver 'cos i never have and never will be interested in liver - it's disgusting. Like eeeeuuuwwww. So anyway, TB was wandering around the food trying to decide on what to have when suddenly, she sensed someone standing right behind her. She turns round and is confronted with an unsmiling Mahmoud (he's smiling slightly in the picture, but usually had this deadpan expression on his face), so she's there, looking up into his face, and he goes solemnly 'I have liver' and then turns and walks away.

I'm sorry if the humour doesn't translate, but it was hilarious, at least the way TB related it to me. After many repetitions and good laughs over it, we eventually came up with the possibility that he might have actually been saying 'I have Cleaver', you know, just like in the horror films, before the killer raises their arm and chops someones head off......oh, i'm sorry! Welcome to the weird and wonderful place that is my mind.

Baba Groper 1
On our second evening, we had a Galabiya party, and everyone had to buy galabiyas and come to dinner dressed up. After dinner, we retired to the sun deck for fun and games, one of which was a variation on musical statutes, whereby when the music stopped, Osama (our compere for the night) would call out random numbers and you had to form a huddle consisting of that number of people. Or he'd say something like '1 man, 6 women' and anyone that couldn't find a group would get eliminated. The long and short of the story is that TB ended up in a huddle with an elderly man whose hand began to travel south!

Baba Groper 2
I was standing at the notice board in reception one night, checking the itinerary for the following day when this guy comes over and stands beside me, presumably to also check the board. We get chatting and he asks me if i'm Nigerian too (Ayman, our guide had begun to refer to us as his Nigerian friends). I said yes and he remarks on the fuel situation in Nigeria (he's a long-distance lorry driver). Somewhere in the course of the conversation, he's going on about what a shame the situation is, and how the Nigerian people already have it so bad (i smile and nod) without having to also 'get it in the arse' (his words, not mine) from the government. For some reason, he feels the need to mime the action of getting it in the arse, and proceeds to reach for my arse, i kid you not! Someone walks in noisily at the same moment and i turn to see who it is and thereby manage to avoid the full force of his grubby hand *shudder*, but not all of it. I promptly say good night and beat a hasty retreat!

More pictures here

Next up (final instalment)...
Abu Simbel and the Indecent Proposal.

Thursday, 3 July 2008

Valley of the Kings (and other random titbits)



The flight from Gatwick to Luxor was relatively run of the mill. We were met by our guides at the airport and ferried to the boat in two coaches, which was to be the arrangement for the rest of the week. We were subsequently split into two groups according to cabin number and assigned to an Egyptologist/Guide for the week.

We had Ayman in our coach to the boat, and he later turned out to be our assigned Guide. As he welcomed us to Egypt and gave us a run down of what would happen once we got on to the boat, he mentioned his colleague’s name was, Osama (I’ll let you create your own jokes). That's a picture of Ayman. It's not a good one, actually. He's more like an Egyptian Ben Affleck look-a-like in real life. Osama threatened to smash my camera if i photographed him.

After we’d settled in, we went up to dinner. The tables seated 6s and 4s. We ended up on a table of 6, and we were told to stick to the same table for the duration. Our table companions turned out to be a couple, Dave and Diane, from a small village in Northamptonshire, and Sharon and Davinda, East African Asian sisters.

The food was quite good. Lots of fish (surprise, surprise), but also beef, chicken, lamb etc. The food labels were a constant source of amusement, as for example, Carved Lamb was once labelled as Craved Lamp.

Each night, in the reception, they put up our itinerary for the following day on the notice board. We had early starts each day in order to beat the sun, nevertheless it was relentless. The temperature ranged between 44 – 47 degrees Celsius throughout the trip! My bottom lip used to be pink; it’s now the same colour as the top lip. I’m still not sure how I feel about that.

Before going in to each meal, we had to ‘purify our hands’ i.e. use the anti-bacterial hand gel from the dispenser outside the dining room. I once tried to slip past without complying, but I was summarily bounced back by the Head Waiter. I later began to refer to this as the purification ritual as we would all form an orderly line and approach the dispenser on our way in to meals.

Valley of the Kings

Our first excursion consisted of a trip to the Valley of the Kings (every time someone said Valley of the Kings for some reason, I would hear dramatic music in my head as in dun, dun, duuuunnnnnnnnnnnn), Valley of the Queens and Hatshepsut’s Temple, taking in the Colossi of Memnon – the guardians of the Valley- first.

The next stop was Valley of the Queens. The Ancient Egyptians apparently cared more about the after life than the present, and so they would prepare their tombs and amass great treasures throughout their lives so they could use them in the after life. Due to Tomb Robbers (tomb raiders, I guess), the Pharoahs began to move their tombs to harder to access places such as the west bank of the Nile in Luxor which borders the Sahara desert. This didn’t help much as, the tombs continued to get raided. The main reason the tomb of Tutankhamen and Tutankhamen himself is so famous is because his was one of only 3 to be discovered with all the treasures intact.

His tomb in the Valley of the Kings (dun, dun, duuuunnn) contains his mummy, but the treasures have been moved to a museum in Cairo. The entry ticket to the Valley of the Kings (dun, dun, duuunnnn) gives you access to 3 out of the 62 odd tombs, but there is an additional fee to see King Tut’s tomb. We chose not to (not because we’re cheap, I hasten to add!) but because it was very hot and would have involved a walk back to the gate to get a ticket and then back again.

Ayman sat us down for a talk about the Valley, and the Kings etc. Very interesting, you can watch and listen here. You can see he’s very passionate and knowledgeable about his subject. Whilst cameras are allowed through the gates, video cameras are prohibited in the Valley of the Kings (dun, dun......yeah, ok its getting old now), you have to leave them at the gate, presumably because recording moving pictures is not allowed. I completely forgot as I filmed this (besides, they should know that most digital cameras these days have a recording function) and Ayman didn’t say anything although I caught him giving me looks to say ‘oi, you’re not meant to be doing that’. I played dumb, and continued filming him, but finally gave in after about 10mins.

After the Valleys (Kings and Queens) we made a stop at Hatshepsut’s Temple. Hatshepsut, was the wife of Tutmose II. When he died, she co-ruled with her step-son because of his age, but later muscled him out and assumed the throne on her own. She faced lots of challenges along the way and to gain acceptance, she started to dress as the male rulers did with the kilt and headdress and a false beard. Her statues also represent her as a man. She also claimed divine lineage i.e. Amun-Re impregnated her mother who then gave birth to her.

She ruled for about 20 years, during which there were no wars at all (hmmm, i wonder why?). After her death, the step-son finally ascended the throne. He hated her so much for what she had done to him that he then proceeded to destroy and deface all her statutes across the land, and tear down buildings, temples and obelisks she'd erected.

************
Next up...
Baba Gropers

Wednesday, 2 July 2008

Karnak Temple (and the Grinding Granny)


WE went to Karnak on the last day i.e. the day before we were to return home, and they definitely did save the best till last.

I think i'll let the pictures speak for themselves. There's no point in trying to give you a history lesson. If you're interested just google Karnak, and the possibilities are endless. Wikipedia is a good starting place.

My favourite part was the Hypostyle Hall, which is basically a hall with a flat ceiling supported by columns. Each of the Temples we visited had at least one Hypostyle, but Karnak was definitely the most impressive with 134 columns. Karnak was the main seat of the Theban Triad made up of Amun-Re, Montu and Mut, and up to 30 Pharoahs contributed towards the complex over the years, seeking to make their mark on the country's most important temple; hence the sheer size of the place. It's divided into 3 precincts, one for each of the gods. The only one open to tourists at present is the precinct of Amun-Re. Amun was the local deity of Thebes (modern day Luxor) who gradually rose through the ranks and became adopted by the other regions, ultimately becoming identified with Ra-herakhty i.e the merged identities of Ra and Horus.

The columns are so wide in diameter that apparently it takes 10 people linking hands to encircle one. We didn't try this but saw other groups attempting it. Our Egyptologist, Ayman proved to be one of the most politically incorrect people, joking that it would normally take 10 people, but 20 Japanese tourists to encircle one column. Hadihaha..

Other highlights include the Sacred Lake in which the priests of Amun would purify themselves before presenting sacrifices to their god. There's also the statue of the Scarab Beetle which is associated with good luck, as the beetle usually came out with the rising of the sun. It is thought that if you circle the statute 7 times, good luck would be yours. The Scarab beetle is also the apparent inspiration for those bugs that crawl underneath the skin and move about in The Mummy (or was it The Mummy Returns). Oh, and the complex lay buried under sand for over 1000 years until it was discovered in the mid-19th century!

That's enough for now, i think. Remember i'm still taking questions.












Sacred Lake


Scarab Beetle





Advisory Note
If you ever visit Karnak Temple, do not under any circumstances go back in the evening for the so-called Sound and Light Show. It sucks! We paid £17 each for the privilege and basically saw what we had seen during the day, lit up and with amplified narrative (by the way, ancient Egyptian kings and queens spoke with Shakespearean accents!). All i'm saying is save your money and avoid it!!!

Grinding Granny
On the second evening,after dinner we were introduced to the boat's management and Heads of department. It was kind of amusing, as it took place in the Lounge bar, with all the guests seated and one of the guides would call out each person and their job title and the DJ would start the music and the person would come in and stand at the front of the room. TB and I had loads of fun whooping loudly as each person came in (hey, we had to keep ourselves amused somehow!).

Anyway, after this, we had a supposed 'disco'. The dj was abysmal. The music selection even worse. So much so that we had to stage an intervention, and (to give you an idea on how abysmal the playlist was) we settled for Dancing Queen by ABBA! So not wanting to go to bed yet, we chilled and watched the one or two other people who decided to brave the dance floor.

Eventually, the dj puts on a relatively danceable track. I think it was Mambo No 5 or Shakira's Hips dont lie (albeit the Spanish version), when some guy comes out of nowhere and begins to grind against this girl who it turns out is his girlfriend. The guy actually went on to propose later in the week and whilst the girl accepted the ring, she refused to put it on her wedding finger as the guy is in the process of getting a divorce but technically still married.

But i digress...So they are grinding away, and it's quite raunchy and beyond the playful kind of grinding. TB, who can be quite puritanical, is almost ready to walk out in disgust. Me, i'm really not bothered much, when all of a sudden, this woman who had been dancing away with her daughter and friend, goes behind the guy and begins grinding against him. So, basically, the guy is grinding his girlfriend from behind and this granny is grinding him. I was almost on the floor with laughter! I'm not sure if she knew what she was doing or if she was drunk, or if she thought perhaps a conga line was forming and decided to join in, or what! The girl was so embarassed, which made it all the more hilarious to me...mwahahahaha! And since then, she became known as the Grinding Granny. The End.

I actually took a surreptitious picture of her, but it was one of the ones i mentioned that i lost! Ah well...

more pics

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

An Experiment


Hi Everyone.

Big shout out to Ms Sula for her suggestion, which worked. Laptop is now up and running, which is tres fantastique. However, i now find myself with writer's block. Can't seem to put anything down in any logical sequence, i'm afraid. And so i've come up with a genius idea - why don't you, my avid readers, ask me questions about the trip. Anything. Whatever you want to know. And i promise to answer your questions to the best of my ability. This (hopefully) will get my mind working and and spark off the creative process which will facilitate a proper post...or at least that's the plan.

Okay. So click here for the itinerary, which gives an idea of what we got up to.

Here's a list of some of the characters we met. My friend, Tripping Buddy (TB) and i share the same sense of humour, so by the end of the week, we had christened practically every other person on the boat!

1 - The 2 Stooges
2 - Liver man aka Cleaver man
3 - Baba groper 1
4 - Baba groper 2
5 - Grinding granny
6 - Dancing waiter (self explanatory)
7 - Anti-social Grandpa (also self explanatory)
I'll add to the list as i remember...

So, let the experiment begin. If this doesn't work, i shall have to do a rethink. But let us wait and see, eh?

Cheers, lovely people...

Thursday, 26 June 2008

Sorry folks


Hi guys,

Just want to apologise for my tardiness in blogging about my trip. I know y'all are chomping at the bit and foaming at the mouth in anticipation; however, my laptop is playing silly beggars and running at a snail pace for some reason. I've tried everything i can (which means CTRL ALT DEL several times over!) and it still won't wake up! I have no access to technical support as i purchased the thing off ebay and the miserable 3 month warranty has run out.

'How does this affect my blogging about my holiday?', i hear you ask. Weeeeeeeeeell. I took said laptop with me on holiday and I've uploaded all my holiday pics on to the blasted thing already (which proved to be a genius move, as when fiddling around with my camera one evening, i managed to delete about 10 shots;however, if i hadn't down/uploaded (you choose...why should i do all the work) the other shots i'd taken that day, i would have lost them all...and broken down and sobbed like a little baby, i'm sure!)

Anyway, this is just to let y'all know that i'm not holding out on you. I shall deliver as soon as i can. Until then.....Peace Out!!!!

Friday, 13 June 2008

Rolling on the (Nile) River...aka Proud Mary



Not for nothing is Tina Turner referred to as 'the most dynamic soul singer in the history of Music'.

Anyway, what i'm trying to convey is that i will be rolling on the River Nile this coming Monday, as i embark on my 7 day Nile cruise! To be honest, i'm not really feeling the excitement i thought i would be at this juncture, however, the thing is all paid for therefore i just know that that excitement will come flooding in, at the very latest, at the moment my feet touch down on Egyptian soil! And yes, i will continue to tell myself that until it becomes my reality. Ok?!

The itinerary promises a wicked experience, anyway.

But seriously, isn't Tina fabulous dah-ling?! Those legs! That presence...You really must watch the video to the end. It starts off slow, but gathers momentum and explodes 2 minutes in, and through to the end!

Yep. So i leave for Egypt on Monday. I will be back in a week with loads of pictures. Whether or not i give a day by day, blow by blow account as i did with my Marrakech trip last year here, here, here and here all depends on the way i feel, the amount of effort involved or just reader demand. Whichever way, i will be giving you the low down. It promises to be exciting, peeps!!!

So have a brilliant weekend y'all. And if you haven't already, do pop over to 14th and Serenity and check out The Doc's entry - a truly formidable feat of literary genius!!! Makes me really wish i could write too! No disrespect to the other contributors and i recognise that comparison in this sense would be apples and pears, however, to me, this is the real deal!

Peace out........

Monday, 2 June 2008

My butt hurts!


I've been doing Hip Hop Abs - in particular, the Total Body Burn work out - a little too enthusiastically! My butt (or rather my upper thighs) are aching like MAD! I know i've left it kinda late, seeing as i go on holiday in 2 weeks, but i'm really on a mission to tighten up all that loose flubber...Wish me luck!

Shaun T is like Will Smith's younger, cuter, way more ripped little brother! Very motivational (He's gay, isn't he?...). I can't believe i'm doing the work out almost every day!!! I mean ME! One of life's really lazy people...Now that's what i call a miracle!

Check him out on Ellen...

Friday, 30 May 2008

'Forget climate change, we should spend on nutrition'


Malnutrition should be the world’s major priority for aid and development, a panel of eight leading economists, including five Nobel laureates, declared yesterday.
The provision of supplements of vitamin A and zinc to children in developing countries, to prevent avoidable deficiencies that affect hundreds of millions of children, is the most cost-effective way of making the world a better place, the Copenhagen Consensus initiative has found.

Efforts to control global warming by cutting greenhouse gas emissions, however, were rated at the bottom of the league table, as the economists considered the high costs of such action were not justified by the payoffs. Research into new low-carbon technologies, such as solar and nuclear fusion power, was ranked as more worthwhile, in 14th place.

The previous Copenhagen Consensus, held in 2004, also listed global warming as its lowest priority. The exercise was organised by Bjorn Lomborg, the controversial Danish statistician who has long argued that though climate change is real, current approaches to fighting it offer poor value for money.


And when you see pictures of children in 'developing' countries like the one above, how can you not agree! But save the planet and the children be damned, right? In a funny way i'm thinking of quote No.4 in the post below...Men really are absurd!

Click on the link below for the full article:
'Forget climate change, we should spend on nutrition' - Times Online

Sunday, 25 May 2008

What does these mean to you?



(26/05/08 - OMG! I've just realised the ibon that i ta'd (the grammatical error) in the title of this post. Wow! In defiance i refuse to correct it. Nobody's perfect, right?!)

Soren Kierkegaard is the philosopher du jour in chez Undacova.

I like to engage in the pastime of navel gazing every once in a while, and i invite you to join me...What do these quotes mean to you:

1 - Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are.

2 - Boredom is the root of all evil - the despairing refusal to be oneself.

3 - Faith is the highest passion in a human being. Many in every generation may not come that far, but none comes further.

4 - How absurd men are! They never use the liberties they have, they demand those they do not have. They have freedom of thought, they demand freedom of speech.

5 - If I am capable of grasping God objectively, I do not believe, but precisely because I cannot do this I must believe.

6 - Once you label me you negate me.

7 - People understand me so poorly that they don't even understand my complaint about them not understanding me.

8 - Love does not alter the beloved, it alters itself.

9 - Take away paradox from the thinker and you have a professor.

10 - Just as in earthly life lovers long for the moment when they are able to breathe forth their love for each other, to let their souls blend in a soft whisper, so the mystic longs for the moment when in prayer he can, as it were, creep into God.

Monday, 19 May 2008

My Empire


To all of you demanding an update, i've been away...building my empire (make of that what you will!)...not so much time on my hands to blog. Will be back ASAP.

PS - This empire is striking back for real. Rome wasn't built in a day? No kidding...!!!

Tuesday, 6 May 2008

Tagged



Tagged by Flo

Da rules

1. Link the person who tagged you
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged


Six Quirks in my Personality

1- I subconsciously match songs with real life events. I think I’ve done this for so long that it’s become an inherent part of me which I don’t even take note of. An observant friend pointed it out not too long ago and since then I’ve become more cognisant. The most recent occurrence that comes to mind is when one day at work, the last of my colleagues left for the day (I’m usually the last to leave) and as the door shut behind him I burst into a rendition of ‘All by myself’. I think it might have been the Celine Dion version.


2- I provide sound effects to my yawns i.e. I can’t yawn quietly. This is fine when I’m on my own, but sometimes, when I’m in company I forget myself (is that an English expression? Or a direct translation of mo gbagbe ara mi? Can’t be bothered to think or check) and let myself go. Doesn’t do anything for the poised and sophisticated image I like to project, but hey ho.


3- I deliberately place cards (birthday, thank you, congratulations etc) in envelopes back to front to prolong the anticipation and excitement for the recipient.


4- I don’t like food.


5- (I’m scraping the barrel now) If I think about doing something hard enough, usually end up doing it. Even if it’s out of character. And when I do end up doing it, it’s usually spontaneous and surprises even myself. This one is in relation to Florida’s quirky point on interracial couples.

My issue is that the black ones in the relationship (male or female) tend to have chips on their shoulders about being with someone of another race. This tends to be revealed in the defiant/defensive sometimes even belligerent looks they give if you so happen to catch their eye in the street. My reaction to this is unfailingly 'who gives a freak? I have problems of my own to worry about. I do not know you, neither do i care who you choose to walk down the street with!'

Each time it happens, i run this scenario through my mind, and i know it's only a matter of time before i actually say it to someone...

6 - I like bland food. And spicy too..

There peeps. Quirky enough for you?

And sorry, me no taggee...

Friday, 2 May 2008

Yet Another Question Is...


I have another question. It’s a bit of a sensitive (is that the word? It is in a way that will soon become clearer, I guess. Lol!) area.

To set the scene...I have 2 nieces and nephews – 2 nieces and 1 nephew from Sister 1, and 1 nephew from Sister 2. So far so good, abi? Right, so nephew number 2 lives with my mum (looong story) and he is literally days away from his 9th birthday.

We were at a family function last weekend, when from across the room, I noticed my Mum and Sister 1 having what appeared to be a heated-ish discussion. I wasn’t particularly in the mood to do anything more than mentally note it. Subsequently during the afternoon, Sister 1 steps out into the garden with the children. I eventually follow. She doesn’t look too pleased so I ask her what’s up.

She explains that my mum had asked her to have a conversation about the birds and the bees with Nephew 2. I was like, okayyyyy. So? She was like, she didn’t want to do it. I was like, why? She was like (yes I know there are lots of ‘likes’ in this story. Bear with me) she just didn’t. I was like, what brought up the issue anyway? Had he been asking questions? She said, no my mum had walked in on him that morning, ‘playing with himself’. Ahhhh, I nodded. I seeeee. Basically, she didn’t feel comfortable doing it.

My mum later brought up the topic with me and I asked her why she couldn’t do it herself. She replied shortly ‘mi o t’omo okunrin ri’, which translates ‘I’ve never brought up a boy before’. Never a truer word spoken. I come from a family of women. The arrival of my two nephews was greeted with much rejoicing....But back to my earlier convo with Sis.

In the process of explaining why she didn’t want to have the conversation, she had mentioned that in her opinion it was a bit early for Nephew 2 to be doing ‘that’. This immediately caused my hackles to rise, as my immediate question was – early, compared to whom or what exactly? I don’t agree with such comparisons at all, because everyone is an individual. What may be the norm for one is not necessarily going to be the norm for another. Of course there are indicators for certain things, but as I’ve said, I do not like comparison. It really annoys me.

So I asked her if she’d had the conversation with Nephew 1 (her son aged 11). She was like, no because he doesn’t do that. I was like, er how do you know? She was like she just did. I was like, no, not good enough. It’s not exactly the kind of thing he would broadcast as in ‘hey mum, guess what I’ve just done…’. She insisted that he was like an open book and her relationship with him was such she would know (maybe by telepathy? Or perhaps Jedi mind trick. Ok, I’ll lay off the sarcasm!..).

So, my questions, just because it’s been on my mind and I have no frame of reference, are:

1. Is 8 going on 9 ‘too early’ to …You Know What?
2. And this one is probably for the men folk…and specifically those who are willing to admit that they ‘indulged’…would you ever in your wildest dreams have considered sharing that kind of information with your mother, no matter how close to her you were?

PS
See here for answers to the movie quotes quiz. Well done to those who took part. Please rate yourselves :)

Wednesday, 30 April 2008

Name that Movie


Okay boys and girls, lets get interactive. Below is a list of famous movie quotes. Can you name which film they are from? Answers will be published in my next post (or the next time i'm stuck for an update. Taha).


1 "Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
2 "Here’s Lookin’ at you, kid”
3 " I’ll be back.”
4“I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore”
5 “Play it again, Sam”
6 "Say hello to my little friend.”
7 “May the Force be with you.”
8 “I’m mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore.”
9 “But this goes to 11.”
10 “I see dead people.”
11 “Go ahead, make my day.”
12 “You can’t handle the truth.”
13 “There’s no place like home.” .
14 “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’ll get.”
15 “I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too.”
16 “Yo, Adrian”
17 “They’re Here!”
18 “Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.”
19 “Stella….hey Stella.”
20 “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”
21 “The stuff that dreams are made of.”
22 “We don’t need no stinkin’ badges.”
23 “Bond, James Bond.”
24 “I’ll make him an offer he can’t resfuse.”
25 “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
26 “Rosebud”
27 “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”
28 “I coulda been a contender.”
29 “Show me the money!”
30 “If you build it, he will come.”
31 “you’ve got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”
32 “Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.”
33 “The first rule of Fight Club is - you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is - you DO NOT talk about Fight Club.”
34 “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?”
35 “You know how to whistle, don’t you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.”
36 “I wish I knew how to quit you. ”
37 “All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.”
38 “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”
39 “What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.”
40 “E.T. Phone Home.”
41 A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”
42 “After all, tomorrow is another day.”
43 “I’ll have what she’s having.”
44 “Plastics.”
45 “Attica! Attica!”
46 “Houston, we have a problem”
47 “You had me at hello.”
48 “There’s no crying in baseball.”
49 “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.”
50 “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.”
51 “Elementary, my dear Watson.”
52 “Here’s Johnny!”
53 “You aint heard nothin’ yet!”
54 “A boy’s best friend is his mother.”
55 “No wire hangers!!!”
56 “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.”
57 “Hasta la vista, baby.”
58 “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.”
59 “Win just one for the Gipper.”
60 “My name is Indigo Montoya. You have killed my father. Prepare to die.”
61 “They call me Mr. Tibbs.”
62 “I’m walking here. I’m walking here.”
63 “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.”
64 “Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into!”
65 “I’m king of the world”
66 “We rob banks.”
67 “Nobody’s perfect.”
68 “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don’t know.”
69 “As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again.” .
70 “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!”
71 “Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’”
72 “Fuggedaboutit”
73 “Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes?”
74 “..But I’m funny how? I mean, funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh?”
75 “You complete me.”