Tuesday, 21 August 2007
Psst, they're on to me..........
6.00pm and the paranoia is rising. I can taste the bile in my mouth. My mouth is dry. I'm laughing hysterically and can't seem to stop myself. I'm having hallucinations. Hold on a minute...I think it's a hallucination. If it's not, then my imaginary friend named Shaneequa has just rolled up a joint, lit it, and is now offering me a drag while bouncing a baby gorilla on her knee. Did i mention the snow white Unicorn galloping across my living room?
They're on to me. No, SHE!!! She is on to me. What should i do? WHAT SHOULD I DOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, calm down, calm down. CALM DOWN! *slaps self upside the head a couple of times*. Ok, i'm calm, i'm calm, and here's what happened...
I had the day off work yesterday, and my sister came round to visit with my nieces and nephew. Noticing my laptop cranked up and running, she decides to check her email. It appears she has an email account with every web-based email provider, therefore, inevitably, she clicks on the iGoogle page, which just so happens to be logged on to my account *strangled sob*.
Big sis (with one eyebrow raised inquisitively) - "Undacovasista?"
Me (nonchalantly) - Yeah.
She says no more. But i know her. She is razor-sharp. It runs in the family, you see *flicks imaginary speck of dust off each shoulder in turn*. FOCUS!! Ok, as i was saying, she is sharp. I have on a few occasions forwarded Blogsville posts that have tickled me to her. I have no way to tell if she has since discovered Blogsville for herself, but if she has, then it's only a matter of time before she discovers my blog. Aaaaaaaaargh!!!
Casting my mind back, there is nothing on here that's incendiary, egregious or unconscionable in anyway, but this assumed identity thing is half the fun of blogging, isn't it?
So, i have contacted the authorities and i have been offered protection if i need it. Going on the Witness Protection Programme is a big step. I'll have to give up everything i hold dear, and say goodbye to my identity as Undacovasista. Am i ready to do that? I don't know. But if i do have to go away suddenly, i'll make sure i leave coded messages at strategic locations around Blogsville, so you all will know that i'm still alive *sobs*. Adieu, my virtual friends. Adieu. I'll never forget you or the the times we've shared....