Saturday, 6 October 2007
I need a male 'plus 1'.
Well, i did say i'd go into blogging overdrive once back from holiday!
I am in dire need of a male 'plus 1'. I suppose he'd be the equivalent of Atutupoyoyo's friend with benefits, except without the benefits. We would trip together, but at the end of said trips, we would both go home to our separate beds, and under no circumstances whatsoever would he betray me by trying to move things to the 'next level'.
There would also be an element of what Waffarian describes as the 'party' friend. And i quote:
"..the one you can go out with and know you will enjoy yourself wherever you end up in. No complains of "I don't like the music", "I don't like the crowd here", "lets take a taxi" "I want to go home", etc. The "party friend" is spontanous and will be happy with any suggestion"!
'Why has this need arisen'?, i hear you ask. Well, my last male plus 1 got married, the inconsiderate sod!!! I subsequently found a suitable tripping buddy to replace him, but the only problem is that she is a she. 'Why is that a problem'?, i also hear you ask. Well, in certain situations, turning up as one half of a female duo is just not on. I mean, i'm not bothered about 'normal' functions. Family functions, i just turn up and scream 'tada, let's get this party started'! Other naija functions? I've got my female posse. No wahala involved. No. The tricky part is the non-naija stuff.
What got me thinking along these lines is that a couple of months ago, my boss (at the time) turned 40, and i received an invite from his wife to attend his birthday party. I had a good relationship with him and would have loved to go celebrate with him, but i had no one to go with. I had no male 'plus 1' and i just knew it would be couple city. You know the drill, lovey-dovey couples milling around, discussing mortgages, investment portfolios, eastern european au pairs and nannies, and holidays in the south of France. I couldn't take my female tripping buddy, cos they'd probably just assume we were a 'couple' too and i had no male 'plus 1' on speed dial cos aforementioned selfish male plus 1 had gone and got married.
So what did i do? I didn't go...
This was some months ago. Now, my boss has moved on, but his wife is expecting soon and we met up recently and he extended an invite to their christening. I'd love to go. Just not on my own. And certainly not with a female 'plus 1'. So again i reiterate, i need a male 'plus 1'.
- Great sense of humour
- Killer converstional skills and intellect
- Sense of fun, sense of the ridiculous
- Great dress sense and individual style (he has to look good on my arm)
- Kind heart and considerate nature...
Call me, Josh...
...you know you want to!
But really, i don't know why it has become harder to establish platonic relationships with members of the opposite sex. Does it have something to do with the fact that i am getting on a bit (ha!) and thus dudes think i cannot possibly want nothing but friendship from them (conceited sods!). Because, of course women of a certain age are all marriage-obsessed and will latch on to any single man that crosses their path, club them over the head with a Gucci handbag and literally drag them, kicking and screaming, down the altar or what....? What is it? I don't know.....
I'm thinking out loud, not advertising the position!
Just good friends