Monday, 27 August 2007

When does a 'Miss' become a 'Ms'?

I ask this question because i feel i am at a crossroads. I look at my name in print sometimes and i wonder if the title 'Miss' is still appropriate for me.

I did some research and there does not appear to be any general consensus. To one person, 'Miss' refers to an unmarried woman aged under 25. To another, it refers to an unmarried woman, full stop.

'Mrs' clearly refers to a married woman, or a married woman who has chosen to take on her husband's surname and relinquish her maiden name.

'Ms', apparently was introduced at the height of the feminist movement, in order to level the playing field between men and women, under the premise that the title 'Mr' was used to refer to all men, regardless of their marital status, and hence woman should be afforded the same right. Some believe it is used when you do not want people to know your marital status. Others believe it is used for the more mature unmarried woman.

I think i would instinctively go with the last definition for 'Ms'. To me, the use of the title 'Miss' after a certain age conjures images of an old spinster who probably works in a Library and lives alone with her cats (forgive the stereotype).

However, the title 'Ms' at the same stage in life would be more likely to convey the image of a so-called strong, independent career woman.

Hmm, I was just wondering...........

Tuesday, 21 August 2007

Psst, they're on to me..........

6.00pm and the paranoia is rising. I can taste the bile in my mouth. My mouth is dry. I'm laughing hysterically and can't seem to stop myself. I'm having hallucinations. Hold on a minute...I think it's a hallucination. If it's not, then my imaginary friend named Shaneequa has just rolled up a joint, lit it, and is now offering me a drag while bouncing a baby gorilla on her knee. Did i mention the snow white Unicorn galloping across my living room?

They're on to me. No, SHE!!! She is on to me. What should i do? WHAT SHOULD I DOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, calm down, calm down. CALM DOWN! *slaps self upside the head a couple of times*. Ok, i'm calm, i'm calm, and here's what happened...

I had the day off work yesterday, and my sister came round to visit with my nieces and nephew. Noticing my laptop cranked up and running, she decides to check her email. It appears she has an email account with every web-based email provider, therefore, inevitably, she clicks on the iGoogle page, which just so happens to be logged on to my account *strangled sob*.

Big sis (with one eyebrow raised inquisitively) - "Undacovasista?"
Me (nonchalantly) - Yeah.

She says no more. But i know her. She is razor-sharp. It runs in the family, you see *flicks imaginary speck of dust off each shoulder in turn*. FOCUS!! Ok, as i was saying, she is sharp. I have on a few occasions forwarded Blogsville posts that have tickled me to her. I have no way to tell if she has since discovered Blogsville for herself, but if she has, then it's only a matter of time before she discovers my blog. Aaaaaaaaargh!!!

Casting my mind back, there is nothing on here that's incendiary, egregious or unconscionable in anyway, but this assumed identity thing is half the fun of blogging, isn't it?

So, i have contacted the authorities and i have been offered protection if i need it. Going on the Witness Protection Programme is a big step. I'll have to give up everything i hold dear, and say goodbye to my identity as Undacovasista. Am i ready to do that? I don't know. But if i do have to go away suddenly, i'll make sure i leave coded messages at strategic locations around Blogsville, so you all will know that i'm still alive *sobs*. Adieu, my virtual friends. Adieu. I'll never forget you or the the times we've shared....

NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children ) petition

With a new Prime Minister taking residence in 10 Downing Street, a newly re-elected First Minister in Wales and new leaders for the Northern Ireland Executive, now is a great opportunity for the NSPCC to influence these governments to benefit children.

Children have the fundamental right to be safe wherever they are, in school, on the streets and at home. This right is not respected and I have just taken action to ask my new leader to make children a priority for their first hundred days in power.

Please join me in supporting this call to make children a political priority where you live.

Click here for the PETITION

You really can make a difference. Even if you cannot commit to fundraising or campaigning, a regular monthly donation goes a long way to providing the following services for children, amongst others:
- Services directly for children and families
- Child protection helplines and websites
- Public awareness, education and motivation to take action
- Partnership with other child protection organisations
- Professional training on safeguarding and child protection
- Research on the causes of, and effects of child abuse

Thank you.

Wednesday, 15 August 2007

Grand gesture? Pass me the sick bucket!

Romantic farmer's son wins girlfriend's hand with 50-metre high proposal cut in cornfield | the Daily Mail

By the way, what is a sick bucket? Do they have a special aisle in supermarkets for them and labels saying 'These buckets are to be used for nothing else but projectile vomit.....'

And while we're on the topic, what is a toe-rag? A rag made specially for wiping your toes? Me no gerrit!!!

But back to the article. Me i don't dig these so-called grand gestures. For me to be tripped, it would have to be something that hasnt been done before. Forget about proposals on national tv on Jerry Springer type shows, or flashing names up during the trailers at a movie (sooooo last century), or writing stuff on the ground, flying banners in the sky etc etc.

Male sex appeal lies in face shape - Telegraph

Male sex appeal lies in face shape - Telegraph

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. But how do i get them to keep still while i whip out my tape measure to take their measurements?

Tuesday, 14 August 2007

This one goes out to all speakers of Christianese - Delay is Not Denial!!!

And so it begins again. Someone i'm not interested in is interested in me - AGAIN! People (number 1 on the list: my mother) say i'm picky. I say i just know what i want. I'm particular. I have discerning taste, therefore it's hard to accept second best. I'd rather keep striving, that's what makes me particular. I know that sounds as if i'm looking for perfection. I truly am not. Perfection does not exist. I'm mature enought to understand that. But i still know what i want, and i'm afraid this guy isn't it.

I'm one of life's 'nice' people. How i hate that word! It's a four letter word to me. One that lazy people use in order to neatly lump people into those little boxes they have pre-prepared in their little minds. Yes, i have values that won't allow me to treat my fellow humans with anything less than respect and kindness (until they prove themselves unworthy. Then, boy do i turn!). But please, do not stick labels on me. I refuse to be labeled. I also digress. Where was i?

Ok, i'll use the four lettered 'n' word for the purposes of this post. Being one of life's 'nice' people, people tend to be drawn to me. It's just a fact of life. And men who are in the place of wanting to settle down tend to be drawn to me also because they feel i'll make them a goody, goody two-shoes little wife. 'What's the problem with that', i hear you say. It pisses me off, big time! A lot of people don't understand it. I just thank God for the level of self-awarenesss he's blessed me with. Otherwise, i could have been married at least 4 times over by now i.e. 4 good men have been ready to marry me and all i ever had to do was say 'yes', but i said 'no'.

Friends never pass up opportunities to remind me of this. After one of said men's wives gave birth to a gorgeous set of twins, one friend even 'joked' that those would have been my twins, and everything within me rejected that. It was almost like a physical thing. Jeremiah 1:5 says:

" Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations

Thank you friend. I know you were only joking, or half-serious, but my children haven't been formed yet, however, God knows them...... Delay is not denial (sorry, i had to get the title in somehow, even tho' i'm the most anti-christianese person i know!)

Yeah, so there's this dude on the scene. And props to him, he's got game. He's played it really subtle - you know, lots of group hangs, very non-threatening. I guess, i'm just too sharp for my own good. But now he's looking to take things to the next level i.e. one on one invites. Still very subtle-like. But i'm on to him.

It's at this point that people begin to say 'give him a chance, give him a chance'. Heck, i think that to myself sometimes, but back to the issue of being particular. I do know what i want. Different people want and need different things out of a relationship. Me, i want a deep connection. For some it might be quiet stability, or steady comfort, or flexible independence or connection and partnership. Some women just want a nice home and a husband and children to look after and nourish. This is equally as valid as anything else. But me, i'm not willing to compromise on my need for a deep connection, however, can this connection be 'created'? To me, that's like trying to beat a square peg into a round hole. I believe that there has to be even the smallest spark of connectedness in order to begin to build on it and fan it into a flame. If there's nothing there to begin with, why deceive yourself by trying, or giving 'chances'.
Here's an interesting post by Ugo Daniels on Soul mates

Back to the 'christianese' in the title. All around me, i see relationships breaking up. Even good christian folk are getting divorced, some of them friends of mine. This gives me pause. I mean, i was there during the courtship period. The men were epitomes of sincerity, love, honour and respect for their intendeds. I was happy for my friends. They were finally getting what they deserved. Unfortunately, after the lavish ceremonies, when all the guests went home, true colours began to emerge. Of course it takes two to Tango, and both parties must assume some responsibility, in these cases, the men turned, and then some! I don't need to go into detail, but that's another thing that bugs me. I mean, short of strapping men down to lie detector machines as part of the pre-marital counselling process, how do you know when a person is being real?

I'm a sucker for romance, and i want to be wooed. Heck, i deserve to be wooed!!! But what is to say that my Prince Charming doesnt turn into a troll the moment he slips that ring on my finger. When i voice these sentiments, people say 'have faith', 'trust God', 'think/confess positive' etc, etc, you fill in the gaps with all those other 'christianese' type phrases. I don't do that any more. Why? Because it doesnt address the problem.

My feelings are valid. Every single one of them, good or bad. So rather than sweep them under the rug of positive confessions, i hold them up before God and we examine them together. I think we sometimes think that God's feelings will be hurt if we dare question him. But what kind of relationship precludes open and honest dialogue? There are even times when i (shock, horror) question the existence of God! Sometimes, it's hard not to. However, i'm blessed in that i've been through enough with him, so many situations and circumstances where he has come through for me, where i've experienced his hand and his intervention. So all i need to do is remind myself of these. There is no logical explanation for God and i struggle with this because i am a logical person. But i have faith and i believe and that has nothing to do with logic.

Ok, i better try and bring these ramblings to a conclusion. Is there a possibility that if i keep holding out for my 'deep connection', i might get left on the proverbial shelf? Isn't the alternative to that lowering my standards? Why does it sound really hollow and unbelievable even to my own ears when i say things like 'there are other things i'd like to focus on right now e.g. my career, hobbies and interests, travel, self-development, rather than obsessing about my marital status?

Peace out.........................

Monday, 13 August 2007

How I Connect

Take this test at Tickle

My connection type is The In-depth Conversationalist

How Do You Connect?

Brought to you by Tickle

The Landlord video

Very funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Landlord video

Sunday, 12 August 2007

I works hard for me money

Crappy jobs. We've all had them, haven't we? I was musing recently on what i consider to be the worst job i've ever done. And before i go on, i'm not ashamed to admit i've done early momo cleaning in this town. But this job i speak of sure did take the (cabin) biscuit.

Anyway, not having the good fortune to have been born with a silver spoon in my gob, i had to work my way through University. I got a job as a Market Research Telephone Interviewer, which is the height of soul destroying toil, and i challenge anyone to say otherwise. The only redeeming factor about the job was you could choose which days and times (i.e. day or evening) you worked each week. Talk about drudgery. This was it! I would look forward to the break times with everything within me 'cos i did meet and make friends with some really cool people along the way. Nothing is more binding than a shared hatred of a crappy job, let me tell you. And by the way, this isn't said 'crappiest job'. I'm getting to that.

So sha, i finally realised that i had the power to take my destiny into my own hands and actually find another job. The only problem was i would need to find something equally as flexible. After days of scouring the newspapers, followed by some inner struggles which i eventually overcame, i decided to answer an ad in the papers for a .............

To be continued

Saturday, 11 August 2007

Bizarre English Metaphors (and Similes)

Some of these are laugh out loud funny!!! Infact, i can't choose any favourites, they are all incredibly inventive, not to mention, stupid!!!

*Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies, similies, and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners . . .

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. (Ok,this one's good)

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. (Eww, gross...)

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. (gotta give props for this one)

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River. (morbid..)
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. (you don't say...)

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. (Nice one)
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. (yeah, maybe!)

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. (is nothing sacred?!)

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. (hunh?)

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Please feel free to post your own efforts!!!

Wednesday, 8 August 2007

It was only a matter of time, Beyonce


Sour grapes? Me? Nooooooooooo

Sunday, 5 August 2007

Naija men, please help a sister out.....

I hope my title has been snappy enough to catch people's attention! Anyway, i just need help on a topic that's been preying on my mind.

I was at a wedding the other day, and a thought occured to me. People say weddings are a good place to meet single guys/girls, but in my experience of naija weddings (in GB), this is not true at all. As i mentioned this to a friend sitting beside me in the Church service that day, we mused as to why nigerian men tend to 'bone' a lot at weddings in particular. For example, your eyes meet (totally innocently, as you cannot walk around the whole day with your eyes glued to the ground) and they immediately look affronted, as if to say 'what you looking at'? And i just don't get it, hence my question. Why, oh, why do you guys like to 'bone', 'frank' your faces, or whatever else you want to call it?

Please help. Closure needed, fast!!!!!!!!